USNIT

ALL WE NEED TO GET STARTED IS THE SUGGESTION OF A FACT YOU’VE LEARNED RECENTLY (a bit of trivia…if you will…)

(via discoverynews)

USNIT is coming to Chicago this weekend. The plan is to do a kick ass improv show and chew bubblegum, and we are not bringing enough bubblegum.

She said she liked Paul Simon.

She never wrote us back :(

A paper published in the latest issue of Psychological Science in the Public Interest (we share a subscription 7 ways) argues, essentially, that online dating sites aren’t all that great at helping people find love.  BusinessWeek.com (we share an internet connection 7 ways) has a helpful summary and writeup of the whole thing. 

Now we’re no scientists, but we can spot a smear job a mile away.  Just because you didn’t have any luck doesn’t mean we’re doomed to the same fate, guys.

We’ve only got two words left for people like you Eli J. Finkel, Paul W. Eastwick, Benjamin R. Karney, Harry T. Reis, and Susan Sprecher; Let’s Date!!!!

We came home after a long day of work and were pleased to find a message in our inbox!

It’s an honor to even be asked, but we are 7 real, thoughtful, intelligent human beings here, not just 2-3 pieces of meat.

We know there are women out there looking for more than just a baker’s half dozen taut, toned, american bods in discount track suits. 

Maybe you’re one of them?

Let’s Date!!!!

Online dating can be a scary place.  Rejection is tough in the real world, but the prospect of getting cyber-denied 60 times in an hour was almost too much for our gentle hearts. 

They say you lose 100% of the girls you don’t ask out, so we knew it was time to dip our toes into the water and start to send some messages.

Everyone was so pretty and seemed so nice! 

We were told that sometimes it’s best to lead with a question.

In general, we are just here to help!

Some people were particular about physical traits that they were looking for…

Whew! Who know dating could be so exhausting?

There are a lot of women out there who might be the one, and a lot more messages to send!

Let’s Date!!!

OkCupid can’t stop asking: How often does USNIT masturbate?

Hey OkCupid, how often do you fork new branches of the codebase for your custom webserver?

(via khealywu)

Over the next few weeks, the US National Improv Team will be on the hunt…for love! As you know, we are 7 guys who are on an improv team together.  A few days ago, we decided that it was time to settle down, and If someone told you it wouldn’t be tough for 7 guys to find a real connection somewhere within the hustle and commotion New York City, well, someone lied!   

When we set out to tackle this great adventure called love, we knew that we might face some hardships, that we might have our friendship tested, and that we might come to realize that everything we needed was right here the whole time.

Tired of being the last 7 guys at the bar come last call (the best place to find someone to settle down with), we took our plight to the internet!

Thanks to okcupid, we can now find that special someone from the comfort of our own homes.  Stay tuned to this space to find out what happens!

Curious?

Let’s Date!!!

UCBT Announces: HAROLD and LLOYD TEAM Rosters - March 2012

Congrats to our boy Ryan and all other friends and future-friends of USNIT!

ucbdifference:

Hello UCB community, 

I am thrilled to be able to announce the new UCB Chelsea HAROLD NIGHT line-up and the inaugural UCBeast LLOYD NIGHT teams!


HAROLD NIGHT

ALL CAPS = NEW TO HAROLD NIGHT
Bold = Returning to Harold Night

WHALE PLUS (starter name)
George Kareman
Pat Noth
Zach Willis
Phil Jackson
ZACK POITRAS
GRANT O’BRIEN
JOCELYN DEBOER
SHALYAH EVANS

MACK KNIT NEON (starter name)
Karin Hammerberg
Matt Klinman
Murph
Amos Vernon
Dan Black
Moujan Zolfaghari
DAN HODAPP
ZACK PHILLIPS

JANET BERN RIFLE (starter name)
Kristen Acimovic
Dave Bluvband
Riley Soloner
James Dwyer
Noah Forman
Jackie Jennings
CASEY JOST
ANDREW LAW

IF HE FELL, JR. (starter name)
Oscar Magallenes
Pat O’Brien
Nicole Byer
Matt Mayer
Ellena Chmielewski
Matt Star
Johnny McNulty
LAUREN ADAMS

ORB GENDERS (starter name)
Jamison Guest
Jordan Klepper
Laura Grey
Langan Kingsley
Patrick Claire
ADAM SCHWARTZ
Brian Glidewell
Erik Dies

A MERCURY AJAR (starter name)
Frank Hejl
Benjamin Apple
Laura Willcox
Nate Russell
Nicole Drespel
Jeremy Bent
Christian Capozzoli
Matt Cutler

Creature
Alison Rich
Cory Palmer
Diana Kolsky
JD Amato
Ken Beck
Ryan Williams
Samantha Warnick
Steve Theiss

Sandino
Kate Riley
Anna Rubanova
John Timothy
Brandon Gulya
Aaron Jackson
Alan Starzinski
Don Fanelli
Terry Withers


LLOYD NIGHT

Spooky Ghost (auditioned and placed as a team)
Molly Gaebe
Matt Dennie
Alex French
John Trowbridge
Hunter Nelson
Josh Sharp
Ben Warheit
Joanna Bradley

ANIMAL EYE (starter name)
James McCarthy
Caitlin Bitzegaio
Kassia Miller
Dustin Drury
John Robert Wilson
Keisha Zollar
Rob Cuthill
Eric Gersen

VAN DO BYE (starter name)
Matt Harkins
Alex Teague
Natasha Rothwell
Julia Young
Tricia Olds
Claire Ayoub
TJ Del Reno
Georgia Clark

ANVIL OSLO PI (starter name)
Ryan Haney
Natasha Vaynblat
Johnna Scrabis
Sean Casey
Joey Price
Brennan Mulligan
Justin Lamb
Annie Barry


I am incredibly excited to see these teams rock the Harold. 

Over 400 people auditioned, and it was very difficult to narrow that number down due to the tremendous talent in this community. A huge thank you to John Frusciante, Josh Patten, Lydia Hensler, Achilles Stamatelaky, Brandon Gardner, D’Arcy Carden, Kevin Hines, and Michael Delaney for sitting in on our panel to help with the process. 

Come check out these great new teams Tuesdays at UCB Chelsea and Wednesdays at UCBeast!

Yours in improv, 
nate

—
Nate Dern
Artistic Director
UCB Theatre NY
145 30th Street, 4th floor

(via futuredaniel)

indiecagematch:

Well, they did it folks! U.S. National proved they had what it takes to move on to the big leagues, and killed it for a third Sunday in a row. Congrats, champs! Join us next week to see who will take home the crown in the battle between the Weird Ones, (Secret Man Group), and Tom, Dick, and Harry!

williebhines:

halphillips:

Here’s another TV news feature about the UCB. This one’s about ten years old.

Highlights:

• Scenes from a decade-old Asssscat, with lots of recognizable faces.
• Scenes from a Delaney class at the old offices (pre-training center).
• A teenaged Zach Woods discussing how improv is more fun than high school.
• A topical reference to a Palm Pilot!

I’ve linked to this before, because the show’s website is still up! If you go there, you can click on “Modem” or “Cable/DSL” and watch the video in RealPlayer format. Instead of waiting for this to disappear or become even more obsolete, I nobly rescued the video last night, converted it into something a little more 2012sy, and put it up on YouTube.

Delaney makes me laugh around 4:58. “He just breaks down, man.”

That class looked like Dillinger plus. There’s Brett Christensen, Zach, Wengert and I think Risa. Also Stan Laikowski, Krista Amigone, Matt Demblowski and Dan McInerny.  Fun!

Owen pulling Scheer out of the chair in the final seconds of this, and Paul letting his legs be all cartoony —- that was like one second of Respecto brilliance bleeding through what is otherwise a well-behaved improv set.

(via futuredaniel)

(via futuredaniel)

connorratliff4president:

RATLIFF 35/2012:  “FOCUS GROUP”

Campaign Consultant Will Hines runs an actual focus group for the RATLIFF35 campaign.

(via futuredaniel)

terrycraig:

Fishing with John — Willem Dafoe

A scene from the 1991 innovative documentary-styled cult TV show led by John Lurie, in which he and one of his celebrity friends (like Dennis Hopper, Matt Dillon, or Tom Waits) go on a fishing trip.
John is not a professional fisherman by any means, and the narration, while sounding like an official Discovery channel narrator, is often bizarre and off-topic, which makes for an entertaining and unexpected journey. And like the starring, directing, and writing roles, John Lurie also takes upon himself the role of the composer, accompanying each episode with a strange, jazzy film score.

Here are two full episodes with: Jim Jarmusch, Tom Waits.

(via futuredaniel)